How's life going, guys? Always hope you're all in your best!

a boho
I'm not going to share tips or even talk about fashuuun and stuffs today. I have limited time for it since I have to go to work and do the social life. Jadi, aku hari ini cuma pengen cerita sama kalian tentang how's my life going until now. Let me be honest for this moment, ya guys. No worries, this post will be in bilingual, kok. 

Have you ever got someone that got away?

Pasti langsung keinget lagunya Katy Perry ya kan kalo ngobrolin someone that got away. Honestly, I just know the right feeling by the way. Selama ini cuma tau artinya doang without knowing the further meaning of the phrase. Honestly, again, aku baru aja ngalamin fase dimana judul lagunya Katy Perry itu terasa sungguhlah nyata. Yap, I just got someone that got away from me. It hurts like hell.

If you are my closest friend, you must be know who he is. If you are not, just try to guess it. 
Well, to tell you the truth, I'm in love with him. Walaupun dia nggak ngerasa the same feeling as I feel, that's okay. Let me confess that too much butterfly in my stomach whenever I hear his name spoken, see his photos, and even when I recall all the memories we've been thru together. Walaupun cuma deket kurang lebih 2 mingguan tapi aku ngerasa super glad for those gold days. You may say, "Gila, baru deket dua mingguan aja alay bapernya," "Yaelah baru juga awal-awal kenalan udah baper aja sih," "Please deh, nggak usah baper gitu."  Yeah, I guess you will say so, karena emang kayaknya terlalu dini to carry that feeling.

Dan sekarang let me tell you why aku bisa sebaper itu, these are the reasons.
Ya emang aku baperan. Selama ini jomblo, no one guy treated me the way he did. Ini point plusnya dia. He is just too sweet for me, and my eyes, ya secara aku ini orangnya ga tahan kalo liat yang sweet sweet gitu. Apalagi kalo misal it directly happens to me. Tipikal Korean guys' manner gitu lah. Ya kalo kalian gatau coba aja liat drama korea terus coba liat gimana bisa manner manner cowok Korea memenangkan hati wanita wanita. With intention not telling you guys the details because I just want to have it in my own memories. 
Sudah terlalu lama sendiri. Sendiri disini maksudnya adalah udah kelamaan jomblo. Gak pacaran bukan berarti gak deket sama siapa pun loh ya. Jadi selama aku gak pacaran aku juga masih deket with some guys, I couldn't tell his name, tapi dia nih kayak iya kayak enggak gitulah modelnya. Aku bahkan gak ngerti bakal berujung gimana sama cowok ini. Mengambang. Stuck. Terlalu banyak tarik ulur. Confusing. Dan kemudian, jeng jeng, datanglah si "my one that got away", yang langsung semacam HD sama aku, yang ternyata cuma diawal. Saja. Kayaknya semua orang yang udah terlalu lama sendiri juga bakal feel the same with me, right? 
I care with him. I totally care with him. I'd be glad to listen his story all day long. I'd be glad spending my whole day just to stay next to him. I'd be glad to be his pain reliever, I'll do stupid silly things if it's a must. I'd be glad laughing at his stupid jokes, that I really miss right now. I'd be glad if you don't mind it. Aku nih tipe orang yang gampang care sama orang meskipun selalu berakhir dengan kekecewaan, tapi aku gapapa kok (:
This is the secret reason actually, I want to be with him. Just it. A beautiful imagination.

Here it comes the plot twist,
All of my friends cheered me with him cause it was a good start. We're cute together. We close to each other, even just 2 weeks but it feels like knowing him for a long time. Then in sudden end up with a huge question marks."I don't even know the reason why he left me." 

If only you told me why, I'd feel better. Things that I know in my perspective, I'm sorry for not being perfect dream girl that everyone look after, I'm sorry kalo ada sikap yang emang gak bisa kamu terima and if it is hurt your feeling. I'm just a girl that have an infinity love deep down in my heart but you may never know it. Why? Because I'm just suck in showing my affection. I'm sorry if I hurt your eyes for being not that pretty. Mungkin dia malu kali ya punya temen deket kayak aku lol.

But baby, nggak ada orang terlahir sempurna. No human want to be compared, gak ada yang mau dibanding-bandingin, baby. I'm done for putting myself in other's shoes. Mari kita akhiri rasa rendah diri ini sama-sama. 
Far before now, I learnt that you can't change someone. What's wrong with being yourself? Nothing wrong. I never ask you to change because I already know that it will never work. I try to accept your flaws no matter what. So why don't you just do the same as I do? 
Your flaws mean to be there dan tugas orang-orang disekitarmu adalah untuk menerima kekurangan dan perbedaan yang kamu miliki. Kalau nggak bisa, ya jangan maksa. Berubah dalam hal apapun itu bukan hal instan. Its a series. Can we just enjoy the series together? 

Ya walopun gitu, walaupun emang we can't end up being together, can we just be friend? I feel much worst kalo tiba-tiba seseorang tuh menjauh dari my daily life gitu loh. Kayak there must be something wrong with me. It hurts me more than anything. If you don't mind just let me know the reason, so that we can correct it together, as a friend that care to each other, can we? 


*cry in sudden*